A couple’s shared matrix step by step

A third matrix from two dates

A couple’s shared matrix comes from two birth dates. Take your matrix and the other person’s matrix, then add the points in matching positions on the diagram. The result is a third matrix whose symbols can open a conversation about your relationship; the numbers do not determine what happens between you.

You can calculate it on paper in fifteen minutes. To see the result immediately, enter both dates on the two-date compatibility page; the calculator on the home page calculates an individual matrix. Below we show the whole calculation so you can check every number.

Step 1: two individual matrices

Our example uses two dates: 15 June 1990 and 31 December 1999. First calculate each person’s matrix independently.

First person, 15 June 1990:

• personality (A) is the day: 15,
• point B is the month: 6,
• point C is the sum of the year’s digits: 1 + 9 + 9 + 0 = 19,
• point D: 15 + 6 + 19 = 40, so 4 + 0 = 4,
• centre (E): 15 + 6 + 19 + 4 = 44, so 4 + 4 = 8, Justice.

Second person, 31 December 1999:

• personality (A): 31, so 3 + 1 = 4,
• point B: 12,
• point C: 1 + 9 + 9 + 9 = 28, so 2 + 8 = 10,
• point D: 4 + 12 + 10 = 26, so 2 + 6 = 8,
• centre (E): 4 + 12 + 10 + 8 = 34, so 3 + 4 = 7, The Chariot.

Calculate the remaining points using the same formulas as an individual matrix. The first date is the example in How to calculate the matrix, where all its points are shown. For the second date: F: 4 + 12 = 16; G: 12 + 10 = 22; H: 10 + 8 = 18; I: 8 + 4 = 12; Heaven: 12 + 8 = 20; Earth: 4 + 10 = 14; personal goal: 20 + 14 = 34, so 7; line 1: 16 + 18 = 34, so 7; line 2: 22 + 12 = 34, so 7; social goal: 7 + 7 = 14; spiritual goal: 7 + 14 = 21.

Step 2: add point by point

Put the matrices side by side and add points in the same position: personality to personality, centre to centre, Heaven to Heaven. Reduce each sum to 1⁠–⁠22 as in an individual matrix: if it exceeds 22, add its digits. Two points total at most 22 + 22 = 44, so adding digits once is always enough: 29 becomes 2 + 9 = 11, and 37 becomes 3 + 7 = 10.

Start with the centre, where a matrix is usually read first. The centres are 8 and 7, totalling 15, so no reduction is needed. This couple’s shared centre is 15, the Devil.

This may be surprising: The Devil never appears in the centre of an individual matrix (see our guide to the matrix centre). A couple’s matrix is different because its centre is the sum of two centres. The Devil, the Star, the Sun and the World can appear here; the Devil is among the most frequent, appearing in roughly one in eleven pairs of dates from 1900⁠–⁠2026. The Magician and the High Priestess never appear in a couple’s centre.

The complete shared matrix (first person + second person = result):

• personality (A): 15 + 4 = 19, The Sun
• point B: 6 + 12 = 18, The Moon
• point C: 19 + 10 = 29, so 11, Strength
• point D: 4 + 8 = 12, The Hanged Man
• centre (E): 8 + 7 = 15, The Devil
• point F: 21 + 16 = 37, so 10, Wheel of Fortune
• point G: 7 + 22 = 29, so 11, Strength
• point H: 5 + 18 = 23, so 5, The Hierophant
• point I: 19 + 12 = 31, so 4, The Emperor
• Heaven: 10 + 20 = 30, so 3, The Empress
• Earth: 7 + 14 = 21, The World
• personal goal: 17 + 7 = 24, so 6, The Lovers
• line 1: 8 + 7 = 15, The Devil
• line 2: 8 + 7 = 15, The Devil
• social goal: 16 + 14 = 30, so 3, The Empress
• spiritual goal: 6 + 21 = 27, so 9, The Hermit

Take care not to mix two methods. In our version you do not recalculate the couple’s points from the combined result. Instead, you add both people’s completed points, including derived points: D, centre, corners, Heaven, Earth, lines and goals. This means you can check each number in the shared matrix with one addition.

Why another calculator might show a different number

The formula for a couple’s matrix differs between sources. There is no single official recipe, and calculator authors choose different approaches. You will encounter at least two:

1. Add each point from the first person to the point in the same position for the second. This is how our calculator works and how the example above was calculated.
2. Add only the three starting points (A, B and C), then calculate everything else afresh from those sums as in an ordinary matrix.

The couple’s starting points are the same in both methods: 19, 18 and 11. The second method calculates D as 19 + 18 + 11 = 48, so 12, and the centre as 19 + 18 + 11 + 12 = 60, so 6, the Lovers. Earth is also different: 19 + 11 = 30, so 3 instead of 21. The other 14 points are the same in this example. To check how another site calculates, enter these two dates: centre 15 indicates the first method, 6 the second, and any other result means yet another method.

Neither version can be called more “true”. It is a matter of the method chosen, so it helps to know which one your calculator uses. If results from several sites differ, the cause is usually a different method rather than a mistake in your arithmetic.

How to read the shared centre

A shared matrix can suggest topics for a conversation about your relationship: what attracts you to each other and what sometimes causes friction. The compatibility page shows one sentence about the centre. The arcanum page offers more: a card description, gift, shadow, first step and an “In a pair” section. You can read any other centre in the same way. In this couple it is the Devil, whose phrase is “The power of attraction”. The loose chains on the card can prompt a question: what connects you, and how does each of you feel in the relationship?

With this centre you might explore two sides of the same subject: the desire to act together and speak openly about needs, and habits that can be difficult to change. These are suggested questions, not statements about your relationship; you decide whether any fit.

The shared matrix offers topics for reflection. The numbers in the diagram do not predict whether a relationship will last or what will happen in it.

How to discuss the result together

The shared matrix is most useful when you look at it together. Five simple principles can help:

1. Read separately first. Before saying anything, each of you can read the page for your shared centre (here, the Devil), underline what seems to fit and cross out what does not. Then compare. Often your differences reveal more than your agreements.
2. Ask rather than declare. “You always want control, it says so here” closes a conversation. “Do you sometimes feel I hold on too tightly?” opens it. The calculator result is a useful reason to ask a question and a poor argument in a dispute.
3. Look for examples from life. With the Devil, a useful question is: which shared habits do we enjoy, and which do we continue only because we always have? Perhaps it is evenings on your phones, or the way you make up after an argument.
4. Leave room for “I disagree”. If either person reads a description and sees nothing in it, that is an answer too. The matrix is useful while you both want to use it; neither of you has to fit it.
5. Go through the other points. The centre is only the beginning. In our example the Devil also appears in both lines, while the couple’s personal goal is the Lovers, the card of conscious choice. Alongside attraction is the question of whether you consciously choose each other. You can go through the points in order and ask of each: when do we see this in our lives?

A few questions to start

If you do not know where to begin, try one of these:

• What attracted us to each other at first, and does it still hold?
• What do we enjoy doing for each other, and what do we now do only out of duty?
• Where do I feel comfortable with you, and where less so?
• What does each of us want in the coming months, and how do those wishes connect?

Answers do not need to be ready immediately. Sometimes it is better to write down a question and return to it a few days later.

Your pair in the calculator

Enter both dates on the compatibility page to see a shared diagram and one sentence about you. The dates stay in your browser. If you want to understand your own matrix first, start with the calculator and How to calculate the matrix. The shared matrix is easier to read when you already know both individual matrices.